by Jim Rome
March 14, 2001
Good news: The annual I-killed-a-dog-sled race is over. That means that all of the dogs who managed to make it through another year without getting beaten to death on the frozen tundra of Alaska have another 12 months to breathe easy.
Legendary animal whacker Doug Swingley won the race, again to complete the three-peat. It was his fourth title overall. This guy is the Michael Jordan of dog sled killing, errr, racing. And he says this one was especially meaningful to him because there were six other former champions in the field.
The fact that you were able to outwhip, outbeat and outmutilate those other guys must make you proud, D. Actually, what I really was curious about, were the only stats that truly matter. Namely, how many dogs gave their life for this oh so important event? And, the final tally: 2 dead dogs and several others that bowed out due to injury. Including a group that was mangled by a snowmaking machine.
Great event, this I-killed-a-dog-sled race. What’s better than watching dogs die and get mauled by a snow machine? And don’t even bother with your, “You don’t get it Rome,” e-mails. You’re right, I don’t. and I don’t want to either.
I hope I never get to place where beating dogs to death is good sport.